When it comes to sex and politics, it seems that these days the two topics make — well, yes — strange bedfellows. There is lots of talk about videotape, indiscretions, shame, hacked emails, and loud accusations. All of this makes for great entertainment, but it doesn’t seem to really enlighten us much. Just lots of noise, blame, and shouting.
We’re trying to choose a President for our country at this particular juncture in history, and yet many feel very disenfranchised by both Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton. Donald is accused by his detractors of being a bigot and a philanderer; while Hilary is accused of being a liar. Why would we want either to be a leader of the United States?
I wonder, though, about what we’re not talking about. In pointing the finger at this candidate or that one, we know that psychologically, we’re also unconsciously pointing the finger at ourselves: our own bigotry, our own lying, our own sexual compulsivity, and our own difficulties with speaking and living with a sense of moral integrity. Do we not all struggle with these issues in one way or another?
What if, instead of shouting and blaming and moralizing, Donald and Hilary offered real moral and spiritual leadership by modeling what it is like to speak with a sense of vulnerability about sex and about the abuse of power? What if Donald’s wife and daughter were allowed to speak frankly about their own experiences of being objectified by men, or even their experiences of being assaulted? Statistically, there is a 3 in 5 chance that they have had that horrific experience. Beauty and femininity often come packaged together at a considerable price — partly, the price of verbal and physical attacks that leave deep and lasting emotional scars.
What if Hilary could speak openly about how she, as a woman, a daughter, and a wife, has experienced objectification and out and out emotional damage in her life and work — even in her own family? She could lead all women and men in her constituency by modeling openness and honesty rather than simply scapegoating Donald Trump. Hilary could earn more respect by resisting the temptation of making more of a spectacle of the Trump videotapes than the media has already done so — and done so, ravenously and unfairly.
And can you imagine what it would be like if Donald Trump and Bill Clinton would join forces in talking with men about what is inappropriate “locker room talk,” about the dangers of men behaving unconsciously. Can you imagine how this would serve women and men well in their confronting things like the reality of date rape on college campuses? I think Trump and Clinton should create, immediately, a non-profit foundation devoted to educating young boys and grown men about the real and present dangers involved in objectification and sexual acting out to our daughters, sisters, and wives or partners!
Carl Jung pointed to the dangers and destructiveness of psychological projection, and he worried deeply about the potential ruin of civilization unless we each do our part in “reclaiming our projections.” I think Jung was prescient of our current political and cultural environment. We need leaders who refuse to polarize and attack, but who can lead us in building bridges between people of widely different temperament and beliefs. Our country is founded on the principal of government “of, by, and for” ALL the people — not just the ones with whom we agree, nor the ones who fit our image of moral superiority and purity.
Pray then, for sanity and enlightened wisdom in this crucial moment in our political history. Pray for moral courage to speak honestly, passionately, and deeply; but, moreso, to speak with the goal of unifying us. No one is pure or perfect — we all have personal and private things about which we could feel some degree of shame. So let’s pray for finding common ground that heals our great divides, rather than building more isolated islands that keep us from working together to solve our problems.